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All I Want to Say is, They Don't Really Care About Us!!

Are you Listening?

If only any of you are listening, if only if:

@Kenny Dalglish – Enough of overvaluing players. Do not sell Aquilani. 

@ Arsene Wenger – Let Nasri and Fabregas go. No player is bigger than the club. Step up Ramsey and Wilshere. Buy Samba/Cahill and you have Mata/Parker/Yoann Gourcuff/Arteta/Elano (low cost, highly effective) to choose from and may be even Melo/Gago. 

@ Villas Boas – Just Save Torres and he will win you the Champions League. Would love to see Kaka or Modric at Stamford Bridge. 

@ Mancini – Out: Tevez, Adebayor, Santa Cruz, Wright Phillips; In – Aguero; Balotelli, Johnson, and Silva are the future. 

@ Ferguson – The blue half is rising.

@ Jose Mourinho – Remember the name ‘Kaka’.

@ Guardiola – You will not win the Champions League next year.

@ Moratti – Do not sell Sneijder. You should have not let go of Leonardo.

@ Allegri – Good luck. 

@ Luis Enrique – Bojan is a good signing. Looking forward to see a fully geared up Roma this time around.

@ Jupp Heynckes - Looking forward to see a rejuvenated Robben, Ribery, and Schweinsteiger in the Champions League.

 

Let the season begin.

Sunday Chronicles

Perhaps this is the firsts of many first things that I’ve been doing over the past two years in Uttar Pradesh to be precise. Uttar Pradesh – Noida for me is a state full of dust, state of the art auto rickshaws, and crisis. No where in this planet, you get to travel along a Kareena Kapoor and a Katrina Kaif, at every dawn and dusk in the auto rickshaw. I am referring to their king size snapshots. Perhaps this is one similarity, which almost every auto rickshaw has in Noida. Some do have Preity Zinta as well :). Coming back to the day, I set off to watch ‘Kung Fu Panda 2’ and then instantly sat again for “Fast 5’. Both are amazing flicks. At one end, you have Po, joining forces with his group of kung fu masters to take on an old enemy with a deadly new weapon. In the other end of the spectrum, you have Dominic and his crew joining forces to pull one last job together, which is worth a $100 million. Both the movies began from where they ended last time and as anticipated, had loads and loads of stunt sequences. “Fast 5’, was perhaps the best of its kind so far. ‘Rock’ against ‘Vin Diesel’ was almost similar to the ‘Rock’ against ‘Austin’ at the Backlash or Wrestle Mania. Nostalgia! "Fast Five" is a movie about tactless materialism, masculine sentimentality, and acute violence, all of them exaggerated to the point of caricature. However, Kung Kung Fu Panda 2 has been set in such a way to answer and cover up a loop hole that existed in the first sequence; the goose being the father of a panda. The main story is compelling, an account about Po's journey of self discovery and his efforts to make peace with himself, but there is also plenty of humor, which sets nicely off the strong characters. I am not sure, if Fast 5 will have another sequel to it, but Po seems to have another one in the loop already. I guess, it will be worth a wait.

The Correllation Between India, Sachin, and Poonam Pandey!

First things first. Honestly, I am a big fan of the West Indies and the South African cricket team. After watching, West Indies at Chepauk, I felt they can never make it past Pakistan unless something sensational happens. As far as SA is concerned, I just felt sorry. If De Villiers had not run that single, we could perhaps be seeing an India-South Africa final. Now coming back to the day, I set off to watch the World Cup final on a giant screen in the heart of Delhi with a few of my friends. As I wished, Sri Lanka won the toss and Jayawardene played an amazing innings. I was very disappointed that Sachin got out early after looking very composed and secure. Still, India won and then started something that I had never ever experienced before in my life.

Thousands and thousands of individuals started walking out on the streets and India Gate for the first time in its history, looked like a monument that was built with a purpose. I am sure, something like this has never happened before in India. I could only hear “India, Sachin, Dhoni, and of course our Poonam Pandey’s” name everywhere. The scene on the roads were euphoric as people were seen travelling on top of cars, sitting on the windows carrying tricolour and literally screaming.  People marched, marched, and still kept marching. It was the real blue army. Boys and girls, and children of all ages with the Indian flag and team India T-shirts, kept marching and India gate had an unbelievable atmosphere. I have seen a lot of victory marches of teams such as Italy, Chelsea, Barcelona, Spain, etc., but to be a part of it is something extraordinary. Everyone on the pavement gave a high five and people were so united and happy just for one thing – India won the world cup. There were terrible traffic snarls but still no one complained. People broke into frenzied celebrations, setting off fireworks, jamming main thoroughfares with vehicles and partying hard on the roads in front of the India gate. Now this is what you call a victory lap.

My only appeal to every Indian is that we have to just stop talking about the 1983 world cup from now on. Enough has already been said about it. Dhoni has won everything in life except the ICC mini world cup. If Sachin decides to play the next world cup, the entire nation would love to see him in Australia.

@Poonam Pandey – India, Indiaaaaaa!

As I sign off to bed, I must state that, I have under no circumstances felt as proud as I am today to be an INDIAN. Jai Ho!

Election Freebies

The ICC Cricket world Cup is getting hotter and hotter and so is the Champions League in Europe.  IPL is all set to begin in another 2-3 weeks, and it’s also election time in Tamil Nadu. Only once, did I vote till date in my life (I have had only 2 chances till now). It’s that part of the time in TN, that political parties across the state are pulling out everything they have in their efforts to attract voters. Some of the freebies floating around this time include

1. Gold for women 
2. Laptops
3. Rice, rice, and more rice
4. Cable TV connections (Last time, it was free television sets)
5. Bus Passes
6. Mineral water (This one was really surprising)
7. Free Meals (Usual stuff)
8. Grinders
9. And many more........

Last time, I guess our very own Captain promised ‘free cows’ if I am right. Imagine, if our captain had come to power, everyone would have had a cow? Wouldn’t that be a sight? I always wanted to buy a cow. Last time, when the DMK Government started distributing free television sets across the state, the prices of CRT television sets dropped like anything. Infact, the market for second hand TV sets had no demand. Almost everyone had a TV and, I guess, this was a strategy to increase the subscriber base of Sun TV, and thereby increasing their revenue. Anyway, I hope the parties also make sure that they rule the state ethically and effectively.  I anticipated free mobile phones this time around. I think the parties missed it.
 

I am sure, people would be happier and would definitely vote, if any of the parties promise a breakfast daily (idli/dosa + chutney) rather than offering grinder and rice individually.

The worst ever feeling!

Frankly, this is heights of embarrassment and weirdness! I should have certainly not done this today. I just don’t recognize why I did this. I feel absolutely perturbed after doing this. This is the heights of mortification. Damn it! Phantoms in my mind!! The first and the last time. Seriously!

150 minutes!

I am writing this on my way to Chennai today. Right next to me, sits an unshaven, brittle Spaniard and in the window seat sits a woman who should be probably in her late 40’s. In the front of us, there are two more women again in their late 40’s and an old man with a pair of reading glasses and books. I assume, The Spaniard has been living in Noida and these women (madisar mami’s) are on their way back to Chennai.  Now our Spaniard is probably a singer, trying hard to learn and master carnatic music. He has come all the way from Spain to learn this in India. Sensational!  Frankly the flight duration between Delhi and Chennai is like 150odd minutes. In these 150 odd minutes, the Spaniard and our women band started discussing from carnatic music, food, and even soap operas. Usually, in flights, I sleep. In almost a majority of my flights, I end up sleeping for at least an hour. The best place to sleep without much disturbance, but here I found it really odd. Are all women gossip mongers? I don’t personally think so, but let us look at some of the questions and answers here. All the questions I have given here are asked by these women (Q) (madisaaru mamis), and were answered by our very own Spaniard (A). 

Q1: What do you eat in Noida in the morning?
A1: I always eat Idlis outside and I really love it.
My reaction (MR) is, I have been here in Noida for about a year now and tell me one good place which gives hot idlis in the morning before 10am. The only restaurant that opens before this time is our very own McDonalds. And even the restaurants that open after 11am sell 2 idlis at 75bucks!
 

Q2: Do you get Sun Tv in Spain? In that they show a lot of family dramas which portrays the plight of Indian women.
A2: I really would love to watch it.
MR: Plight of Indian women? Bullshit. People are jobless.
 

Q3: When I was young, I used to get up at 4am in the morning in Chennai and start practicing singing for two hours, in front of my guru and in weekends, I used to stand in the river and then practice.
A3: Oh wow, that’s amazing. I have also read about this, and I really want to try it out.
MR: River? Chennai? Coovum? Well, I really am not aware about any other river. I guess, Coovum, is not considered a river anymore.
 

Q4: Do you watch cricket? Sachin? He is a genius. I leave all my work and start watching Sachin whenever he bats. Spaniard nodding his head.
All others: Yeah. I really like Yuvraj Singh
MR: All work? Yuvraj? Does Yuvraj know this?

Nonstop radio it was. I am no big fan of a radio. I don’t like listening basically, that’s something different. But here, one thing that really blew me out was the way the woman in their mid 40’s behaved. All were dressed up in their madisar’s (In the Brahmin community, this was the compulsory method in which the sari was supposed to be worn by a female after her nuptials). Though I was asked a few questions like what phone is this and are you from Chennai types, our Spaniard was interviewed left, right, and centre. In fact, all these women are put up at Adyar and have even personally invited this guy to come in to their place, shared their email id’s and mobile numbers. In fact, one of the ladies had an IPad. She even knew the cost of a blackberry phone and their model number by just looking at the phone. The discussion started from idlis and ended with  our captain Vijaykanth. Looks like our captain already has four votes. Thank god, the flight landed. Home!

Do Not Disturb

One of the most recent emerging developments in the telecommunication sector that really caught my eye apart from the brand new tablets, 2g-3g scams, is the ‘Do Not Disturb’ registry. Though it was introduced way back, I think of late, it has been functioning quite well. I guess I did register with the DND service about 15 months back and realized that in India, it takes at least a minimum of 2 years for a set system to function properly. Till recently a minimum of 3-4 sales executives will push in their effort to sell their cards and vouchers by calling at all times in the day. Now what is happening is (in the past 2-3 weeks is) corporate houses have started sending text messages stating that your number has been registered in the DND category. We request you to reply to this test message to continue receiving our texts. Wow!

Now I think the Indian Government and the Telecommunication Consortium will join hands in setting up a ‘DNDv.1 – Do Not Disturb those in Do Not Disturb Directory’, something similar to the service pack 1 of Windows 7. I believe that the telecom companies here might lose a premium which they regularly attain from various commercial houses for putting together a list of numbers. Let us take a case here. Assuming Vodafone is having a total of 10 million customers in the last 5 years which makes it almost 548 new connections every day, and Vodafone charges 50paise for every text message sent, and if all these customers are in the DND directory, Vodafone loses around half a million INR from a single corporate house. So these telecom companies have also started adopting sustainability. Here they make sure, text messages to the users are sent reminding them about the DND Registry (Ethical Behavior) while also, putting in a novel strategy at place to make for the lost returns. Even, I somehow have a feeling that all the text messages and other forwards floating around in India, all the dumb jokes, puzzles, riddles, etc., are fed into the networks by the telecom companies themselves, just in an attempt to boost their revenues. I read some time back that companies providing antivirus software for desktops feed their own in built program capable of acting as a virus onto the PC’s through a network and then come up with a solution that their competitor cannot mitigate. You generate a problem, you bring in a solution and you grow rich. Keep all your money in the big brown bag inside the zoo. Isn’t that a sight?

300.

 At half past 12 today, I had an abrupt urge to put pen to paper and here it is. Well, I thought, I can update my blog, by updating about my blog.

This is my 300^Th post in my blog. Wow! Have I written so much? Or why did I write so much? What was it that was driving me to write so much? With an eye for detail, I have been writing for the past 3 years and that makes it almost 8 posts a month. In fact, money was the only motive behind which I started this initially. I went on to make close to $170 in the first 4-5 months, during my last year in the college. For making this odd amount, I used to spend one hour every night looking out for opportunities. After the first 5 months, I thought it was not really worth it. There were a very few opportunities in the first half of 2008 and then the global economic recession bought in a very few advertisers who wanted to splash money. Big Bang Boom! I actually thought, I shall put up my own website for writing but, then I decided, it might not be worth the shot as blog spot looked more credible and appealing. 

Slowly, I started updating my blog, every month with my notes, thoughts and interpretation of the real and virtual world from sports to politics to movie reviews to poems. There was no particular rationale behind the choice of the topics, but still somehow, I loved writing and wrote then and there. All I can say is, I am no Paul Krugman, but still, I have a good number of people coming over to my site every week. That makes it really cool. Overall, the experience till now has been nice. Owning a blog is nothing at all. You go onto a blog spot or a word-press and start blogging. That's it. It is not like owning a Ferrari, Bentley or any other SUV. But still a blog is a blog.